It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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