"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
