The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
