on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
