no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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