he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
