Small penises have feelings too.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
