I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
