Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
