So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
