He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
