i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I puked a lego.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
