end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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