I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
