after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
