Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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