we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
