i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
