i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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