Im at strip club and am horny
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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