Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
