I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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