so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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