Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
