Plan B is the new Plan A
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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