I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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