Christians are straight up FREAKS
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
