After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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