you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
