chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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