So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
