Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
