We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
