when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
