I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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