Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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