Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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