So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am full of burrito and curiosity
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
