There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
