The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
