I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
