Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
