Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
