If that was your dad, he is hot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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