I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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