i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
