That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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