and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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