YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
