my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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