i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
