Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
