i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
