She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
