This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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