Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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